So I know I’m late on this week’s post, but now with Clubhouse replays, I can review the Psalm chevrusa before I post, so it will be super fresh, despite being late. Interesting.
I can post the link, but you do have to have a clubhouse account and the app to take advantage of the replay, so I’m not sure it’s worth it.
We spent awhile talking verse 1 because there was so much in it.
I love the L-d because He always listens to my voice and my requests
I am filled with love because Hashem is listening to my voice and my pleas.
I love that Hashem is listening to my voice and my pleas.
not BECAUSE, but an assumptive knowledge based relationship. I already know that Hashem is listening to me and I love that about our relationship.
I love that Hashem WILL listen to my voice and supplications. Always. Today and forever.
I love that Hashem should hear me.
How and when is Hashem listening to me? What does it do to me in the moment of now to know that the future me is heard. That I am always and will always be heard. How is that transformative of my experiences today to have this underlying certainty of being listened to.
This is the most intense form of therapy almost. Where I can, in any situation, know that my prayer will be heard and my cries will be acknowledged.
(The multiplicity of these ideas brings to mind another Bujold quote. The Mother has given a message to an acolyte to give counsel to Cazaril. The message is “Tell my Daughter’s faithful courier to beware despair above all.” That’s it? Cazaril complains. Well, the acolyte clarifies. She might have said courtier, or castle-warder, or captain, or all four. It’s all blurred in my mind. We know, as Cazaril does, that all four were meant. And that’s the incredible beauty of language and poetry that merges the spiritual and the physical. All of these things are meant. Just as Shamor and Zachor (remember and guard) the Sabbath were uttered together so that the people heard both simultaneously, just as the 10 commandments were carved entirely through the rock but easily readable forward on both sides of the tablets. The miracle is that we can connect to all the ideas given in the poetry. Not one explanation, but all of the them encompass the ideas that teach us and move us forward towards understanding and connection.)
The Ibn Ezra brings the idea that “G-d is loving with hearing my supplications” very responsive.
How much I love G-d because he hears me -vs I am filled with love for G-d because he hears me, -vs- I am filled with love for G-d because he does things for me, or I feel close to G-d because He listens to me. Because I love Hashem, He hears my voice and loves me reciprocally. I show love to G-d, and G-d listens to me with love, and I love that. A cyclic loving relationship that replenishes itself.
That’s VERSE 1, you guys! That’s how we started!
The reason why I’m filled with love is because G-d has turned an ear to me, he has not turned his face from me. on of my days. on my days including the nights also? In my days is the days only? In of the days including Moshiach?
Why does verse 2 seem to repeat the idea of why Hashem loves us through listening to us. At this part in our service, we remind ourselves that Hashem is listening. We’re not disconnected from the process, we’re involved and this is an interactive process of connecting to G-d through the Hallel service. And we’re about about the midpoint and this reminder that we’re in a reciprocal relationship is meant to remind us to wake up and stay engaged because Hashem is listening.
You can read it as on the days I call to You or you can think about it as in the days in which I’m alive, which is really suggested as the Psalm continues.
When I found myself encompassed by the labour pains of death and the torments of Sheol overtook me, I found trouble and sorrow. When we talk about the pain of death as a labor pain, meant to be more transformative. This is not an encompassing final death. This is a transitional pain that’s meant to take us away from the trouble and sorrow and deliver us to something better.
In this moment, I am in sorrow and pain and trapped, like I’m back in Egypt, where I was a slave, but I will not always be there. I do not have to be stuck there forever. I can transition beyond that.
But I will call on the name of the L-rd, please G-d, rescue my soul!
At the beginning, I don’t have something to plea for, but if I did, I know that G-d would (in the future) here me. Here we are, two lines in the future, and now I have something to pray for. I am in distress and I need salvation. And I have that confidence from the earlier verse that my prayers will be heard.
We talked about אנא/ענא how these words both have elements of plea and supplication and mean the exact same thing. I mentioned an idea that occurred to me as we talked that may be totally farfetched about how Aleph is in the beginning of the alphabet and Eyen is in the middle. and this shows that you can come in to any part, in any place and time, as long as you’re alive. (obviously there is no third word that beings with a letter at the end of the alphabet because as we learned in the previous Psalm, praise of G-d is reserved for the living. The dead cannot praise G-d or testify to G-d’s greatness.)
On the days when things are depressing, we call upon Hashem to deliver our souls, but even in that moment, I still approach Hashem from a place of praise. The praise language which we was have been using all of Hallel so far when things are good, we still use that same praise language even when things are bad, even when I’m encompassed by death, and in sorrow and travail, even then, my mouth is filled with praise.
I called out G-d because he is gracious and righteous compassionate. (verse 5), but this this language is a restatement of some of the attributes of Hashem.