Left Behind

I know there are lots of stages in our lives when we feel like we are being left behind. I’ve heard my teenage mom friends express that feeling of being left behind when “everyone” went off to college and they were left at home with a baby to care for.  I’ve heard it during that season when everyone is pairing off and getting married from my single friends (I still hear it, even now, in my 40s, from my single friends longing to find what I often take for granted; a captive audience to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay after I come home from a truly sucky day.)

But today it’s my turn.  My turn to watch while my friends’ babies have babies.  My turn to watch as another mom of one becomes a mom of many.  My turn to watch as each year that passes brings more children to families that aren’t mine.  My turn to feel to left behind and left out.  My turn to feel bereft and barren of hope and other things.  My turn to realize that my friends are too busy with their movings on to have time or interest in my friendship.  My turn to feel unheard amid their new conversations and interests; that can’t include me, because I’m not one of them anymore.  I’m left behind.