Why aren’t you doing what I think you should do?

A number of people have asked me why I didn’t get a second opinion, or see another doctor for this or that issue.  I’ve addressed each one in particular, but I’d like to address the topic generally as well.

What makes you think I haven’t?

Do you really think that the woman who lives her life going around roadblocks,  whose primary advice to people starts with “When you see the road you’re taking to work is closed, do you turn around, go home and say, ‘I guess G-d didn’t want me to go to work today?’ No!  You find a way to get there,” stopped at one opinion?

I challenge everything.  I question everything.  There was a show, Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues and there was an exchange when one of Kwai Chang Kaine’s students was asking what to do when fighting many opponents, and he suggested a fighting style.  “What if there are too many? the student persisted.  “Then you lose,” was the reply.

And it really is just that simple.  When faced with overwhelming odds, you lose. There’s no magic trick that will save you.  No miracle cures.  Sometimes you just lose.

But being questioned, the attitude of, “have you really done everything you can do?” It takes me back to that place we talked about here in, Lingering Feelings of Failure, where failure is always an implied fault.  When someone dies of cancer, do people stand at their funeral and say, “Well, she didn’t try hard enough to beat it, and now she’s dead.” We accept that some odds are overwhelming.  I was listening to a video this week from a woman who wants to help ME overcome infertility.  (my generically, not me specifically) And she has tips, tricks, and solutions that I may never have heard.  She’s helped people who have spent thousands of dollars in failed IVF treatments to become parents!  I plan to listen to the series of seminars, but because I’m interested, not because I think anything she can do can help me.
And because when I go into the ground at last, I don’t want it said, “well, she turned around and went home whenever there was an obstruction between her and her goal.”  Which they may anyway, because many times people ignore the reality for the illusion.  The reality is that every time my path my blocked, I try another path.  And I plan to go on doing so until the hour of my death.  Because if G-d truly wanted me to stay home, I would never want or need to do anything else.

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