An Unfair Rant on the Subject of Things that Unfair

One of my friends recently had twins.  I say friend, but she’s not really my friend.  We diverged a long time ago.  We’re distant acquaintances for whom I once did a favor.  Not like a “give a kidney” level favor.  The level of favor I would do any acquaintance or friend. I clarify lest you think I feel like I’m owed something for this favor.  I’m not.  For me, this favor was the level of “helping a little old lady across the street,” when I was going across the street anyway, and helping her in no way caused me any stress or inconvenience. But as a result of the favor, we became friends of a sort.
Through our friendship, I’ve come to know her and realize, she’s not a person I would generally like to spend time with.  I think she’s narrow-minded and hateful, authoritarian-submissive; what’s the lovely phrase, “often wrong, but never in doubt?”  It’s an uneasy friendship.  I try my best to live and let live, but I’m not a general fan of the way she lives.
Which is why it’s killing me that she just had two more children.  I don’t want her raising children.  Not only am I jealous that she has more kids and I don’t, but I just don’t want her pushing more of her ideologies out into the world.  If her children don’t grow up to be horrible like her, it would be a divine miracle; which both she and I can agree COULD happen.  But it’s unlikely.  I feel sorry for children, particularly women, being raised in the type of environment my friends feels is correct. I hope I’m wrong about the way she will raise them.  I was reading about a world in which treason is punishable by exposure and starvation in the main public square.  And a plot to accuse the prime minister’s son of treason so the Prime Minister would be forced to watch his son endure the punishment.  I’m suddenly reminded of this.  If we remain friends, perhaps, like this Prime Minister, I will be watching as these children endure exposure and starvation of a non-literal source; watching the erosion of their souls over time.
I try never to say that some people don’t deserve to have children.  But my heart cries out at my barrenness in a world where this person is given her heart in abundance.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s