I quite like satire. I was raised on a steady diet of sarcasm and satire, so I feel very comfortable sitting with it.
That’s why I’m in this weird love/hate relationship with the conservative satire site. I find the articles pointed and amusing, but I hate it because my conservative friends point to it and hold it up as their opinions, then whine when it’s pointed out that those opinions are obviously meant to be satire, “It’s a joke! Can’t you libs take a joke.” (That’s not a question. It’s never meant to be a question. Of course they don’t think libs can take a joke. They think we’re humourless asshats who kill babies recreationally, despite the fact that we’re cowardly pussies. (I’m pulling out all my stereotypes today. It’s been a long couple of weeks without a place to vent.))
So my conservative friends (who haven’t escaped to their conservative echo chambers so they can wallow in their own opinions unchallenged by pesky things like facts, feelings that don’t directly belong to them, and friends who aren’t crazy – the irony of me posting this here, where I control absolutely who can reply is not lost on me. Echo chamber indeed.) posted a link to an article entitled, Most Popular President in History to be Inaugurated in Secret Behind Giant Wall Guarded by Thousands of Soldiers. And they’re all giggly and gleeful about it.
And this is why we can’t have nice things. People try to overthrow the government, on camera, with equipment to attempt to take congress hostage, and plans to hang the vice president of their own chosen administration, during a pandemic, FFS which requires increased national security, which has caught at least two people in the past week that I’ve heard reports of attempting to sneak into the DC for the inauguration with ill intent, and the conservatives use that prop up their chosen narrative that he’s really not that popular. (and couldn’t possibly have won, etc.)
Conservatives don’t even want me to enjoy satire anymore, because I feel like I have to explain to their dumb asses context. I’m sure the authors of the article understand the context. But I’m equally sure that while the sharers of the content claim to understand it, they really think it’s reality. I know this is true, because in most cases, I’ve engaged with them and instead of being like “yeah, this is funny because it’s ad extremis,” they’re more like, “Yeah, they mean it to be funny and ad extremis, but you know it’s really true and it really is like this.”
No, it’s fucking not. It’s funny and it’s ad extremis, and you’re an fucking idiot who doesn’t deserve satire because you can’t appreciate it.
Meanwhile, I’m secretly afraid to watch the inauguration coverage, because the last time I tuned into watch something I expected to be thoroughly boring, but I wanted to watch anywhere, there was a fucking insurrection in the middle of it. I’m hoping if I think of this more like New Year’s Rockin’ Eve part II, instead of like Electoral Vote Count Certification part II, maybe it will go better with us.
And another thing. I’ve seen a bunch of Trumpiatrian snaphots (gas was x, jobs was x…) going around of people preparing them for Biden turning this country into hell, as if images of Portland under siege, the riot at the capitol, and the COVID under Trump somehow weren’t hellish, and lists of his accomplishments which are all crazy out of context. Gas spiked like whoa under Trump and you know why it’s down now? Because the majority of jobs that can be done at home, including a bunch that maybe shouldn’t be like, doctoring, are being done at home, so demand is down, so prices drop. At one point during the the first spike, gas was like $1.15 around here, maybe even lower, because demand was non-existent and people only needed to fill up their tanks once every other month. So when demand goes up again, the price is going to go up again. One data point in an administration is meaningless if the context is removed. That’s why trends over time is a better metric.
And I hope that all those people who complained that I “wanted Trump to fail” (bigly?) are sitting with that right now while they expect(, but don’t want ?) Biden to fail. I, personally, expect a nice boring recovery as this country pulls itself back to the midpoint and attempts to appease everyone.